Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Soul Searching...


It has been a while since I've written plot to stories, choruses to songs, rhymes to poems and steps to beats after I crucial point in my life my desire to lift a pen or pencil to paper was and still has been difficult for me. I am just now starting to remember why I could sit on a floor, hood of a car, on the top of my house for hours and get lost in my own little world. I am beginning to feel that lifeline that had been oppressed and damage seek its way back to me, healing a little along the way. I can feel the way my mind wants to release the constant thoughts jammed inside my skull knowing the only way to free me from escape is to write it out into the universe. I miss those warm nights where the moon and stars kept me up writing poems until my hand hurt. I remembered the afternoons in my room where I locked myself away from the world, turn up my music and danced because I knew I could not be judged on the wrong turn or twirl, where I could mix all those styles of dancing into one big mess and be happy because I knew what I could achieve with my dancing. I've longed for those early mornings when I could hear birds chirping and rain drops hitting my window with a beat and I could hum a tune that I tried to fit in with the melody. Its a struggle now to even   break free of the constrictions I let be placed on me, I don't care anymore I need those pieces of my soul to come back to me. I will break those constraints one by one as pieces of me return. Until then I will be soul searching....


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                                            Wondering....
                               Fay,
                     

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